so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
