I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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