You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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