I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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