I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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