you win again, gameday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
