I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize