I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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