You really coming over, don't trick.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
