i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize