But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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