For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize