Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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