wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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