I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
