Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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