I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize