Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
