She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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