So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
