I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize