I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
