I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
