if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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