There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
