Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
