jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
