Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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