dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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