I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
