Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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