how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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