we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
