Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
