she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
