East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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