Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
