worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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