drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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