Sponge bath it is.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
