i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize