You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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