The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
