I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
