we have pet lesbian snakes
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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