i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he shaved USA in his pubs
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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