I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize