PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
