it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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