Welp...herpes.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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