I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just pee around me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
