I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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