I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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