why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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