You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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