Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
