No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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