I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
