Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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