dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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