I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
