I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize