with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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