my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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