still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
