What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Success! We fucked roommates!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
