Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
