4 words: hood of his car
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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